Five Things I Hate

Five Star Hate

2011-07-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

1. Hipsters. They really just bother me to the core, for reasons too numerous to list.

2. When someone takes a bite out of something for the first time and proceeds to rant about how disgusting it is then tells you to try it...ie...."Ugh!!!! Eww! This is rancid! Here- try it!" Ummm....no.

3. When fast food chains put some really good shit on the menu for a "limited time." You fall in love with it, then is disappears into nothingness forever and ever.

4. White people that use urban vernacular seriously

5. 5 star dining. I don't want fois gras with butternut squash confit with truffle sauce. I want food that I can readily identify that costs 1/10 of the price.

Hatred that is to the point

2011-04-12T11:13:00.000-07:00

1. Racism
2. People saying they hate kids
3. People who think they know everything
4. People talking about how busy they are
5. Blogs!

Perthian hate

2011-04-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Today's rant comes all the way from Perth, Australia.

When people with less ability, experience and intelligence than you succeed at a task you have not yet attempted because you've been too damn scared to try and now feel stupid because some moron has achieved success in that endeavour first.
Idiots who lack the ability to understand that speaking at 100 decibels or more into their ridiculous mobile phones in a public place is not going to get their point across any better, it's simply going to piss off those unfortunate people around them who have to listen to their drivel - hey losers, we don't know you and we certainly don't care or need to know about your pathetic life.
People that deem it unnecessary to demonstrate basic manners to their fellow human beings - newsflash to all you rude, insufferably inconsiderate and self-absorbed people: manners cost nothing and help us all get along much better, so do the world a favour and include simple words like 'thanks', 'please' and 'excuse me' in your obviously severely limited vocabulary, if that's not too much trouble.
Having to repeat basic instructions / advice / comments more than once as it is extremely irritating to have to repeat something to a person clearly not possessed of either the cognitive capability or attention span to get it the first fucking time.
This is the big one - people who cannot drive!!! I wish I had a dollar (or even 50 cents!) for each time I encountered either a scarily inept or dangerously oblivious driver on the road who either cut me off, randomly turned or changed lanes without signalling (just quietly, I'm not psychic and can't guess what you're going to do next - kindly help the rest of us out by using your fucking indicator) or decided it would be a fantastic idea to tailgate me in the hope that I'll break the speed limit to satisfy their urge to get to their destination half a minute faster. I would be one rich son of a gun if that were the case.

Some good hate right here

2011-03-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

1. People that ask you a question just as you've taken a bite of something and then make some stupid pseudo-amusing remark like 'any day now, haw haw!' as you're struggling to finish chewing so you can respond. This is basic etiquette, you dickwads. Etiquette for dummies. You wait for someone to finish chewing for an answer; what the fuck else are they supposed to do?

2. North Americans that raise their voice at the end of every sentence so it sounds like a question and say things like 'oh my God, that's so funny' in a monotone voice and don't laugh, despite the fact that they've just claimed that something is 'so funny'.

3. Long hair when it's not attached to a human head. I hate finding my own hair on my stuff, let alone yours. Plus it's a thousand times worse when it's wet and dark.

4. Strong wind that blows straight through the fabric of your clothes, throws shit in your eyes, messes up your hair, sends papers flying and makes it difficult to walk. This is the kind of weather that just makes me want to smack someone.

5. Unreasonably expensive public transport. Eleven pounds for a 90-minute bus journey? Are you fucking kidding me? If I'm taking public transport I want to feel like I'm ACTIVELY being thrifty. I want that fare to feel like pocket change.

Too lazy to come up with all 5 --- so we'll take 2 things!

2011-02-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

1 – When you close the door to your office hoping to continue a project uninterrupted & people continue to knock & come in & bother you anyway

2 –When I am wearing a jacket or sweater inside & someone trying to be funny says “Are ya cold?”

F%*@#ing MORON, YES I’m F%*@#ing COLD! F%&#K

Ranting hatred

2011-02-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

1. The Black And White Views on Religion and Science:
Its true that Religions are most of the time far out, and yes, its impossible to have a God of sorts create the world. So then why is it if you have a faith of any shape or form your retarded? People who believe that there is a sin for every little thing, yes thier the ones we should worry about. And lets not forget the converts! (Seriously, get a job, conversion is invasion!). But just because someone might believe in a god, doesn't necessarily mean they deny science. I goto a Catholic school (Yup, the C word!), and were still taught science and all the other things. And you dont have to be catholic to go there, nor do they convert you in the religion class (Although it is a cumpolsory subject, but if you dont want to learn that, why are you there?) Its like people's taste in music. You either like it or dont, its that simple.

2. Hypocrisy of Scene Kids (This is in general, if your a scene kid and your not like this please don't take offense)
Scene kids claim they are the nicest little clique out there...bullshit. To be one of these foul little monkeys you must be attractive and you must have friends who are also Scene kids. Why you would dwell on Myspace, facebook, etc Im not sure, but what kind of a life is that? Your so ashamed of that big poofy hair that you can't socialise without a screen? And why do you only listen to metal just because its cool? I myself don't like Metal and choose my own music. And also, why do you have an obsession of taking photos everywhere?! Get out of the way,I want to have a look at the horror book section! But no, I'll just let you all sit there in your nice little circle obscuring the path.

3. The "Heroes" to Foreign Children
Why is it when devastating occurences like Haiti and that, we suddenly get a rush of white people wanting to adopt those kids? Is it part of your charity? Are they a trophy? Do you even care that these kids parents might still be alive, missing a leg maybe and just hope thier kids made it out alive? And what if thier a Christian community trying to take these kids out of thier countries? Great, make all the other Christians look bad! Look, if you want to adopt them, fine but remember, thier not a pet thier a human bieng!

4. "You Should Be Killed"
Little fucking kids on youtube saying we should do the world a favour and commit suicide, were disgusting or that all by saying one little thing. For all they know, we could be a doctor that saves lives, a musician helping to raise money for cancer, or a mother of 3 children. And what of they? They probably don't have anything going for thier lives, but if they tell us to go kill ourselves, they musn't be doing much, do they? And why bother replying to them? They get locked in this mindset that "Oh you just got PWNED". Childish behaviour gets you nothing & nowhere.

5. Baby Names
Apple. It all started with Apple. Now we have parents naming thier kids some of the most ridiculous names. Some are even references to movies (kids have been called Luke and Anakin, trust me.) Are you kidding? Whats thier justification? "Oh, I just want to make sure s/he isn't grouped in with everyone else" If you want to do that, why not give them a name from 1890's or something? Oh no, you want to call them "BIFFle" or "Ducky". Baby names, man...>_>

Ranting hatred

2010-02-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

1) Anyone who is using this Joe Stack crap to support either
right-wing batshittery or left-wing statements against the right is a
fucking moron. I'm a liberal and I think conservatives are nutbags.
At the same time, I think this is largely a case of a dude who had
legitimate complaints against the government (but who apparently
doesn't understand tax law) going completely batshit. Psychological
pressure can break a person. Is it just me, or is the average
emotional age of America approximately 2? I don't condone what the
dude did, but I feel some measure of sorrow for him, for the people he
killed, and for everyone else affected by this. Grow up, America.

2) I cannot stand people who can't make or appreciate a nuanced
fucking argument. Reality is NEVER black and white. Life is NOT
sorted into small categories. If you cannot make an argument that
considers context and realizes that answers to certain issues will
always be different depending on a situation, you do not deserve to be
taken seriously. This is not moral relativism. This is about
acknowledging the fact that life is complex and that certain actions
will do different things in different situations. If you do not
comprehend this, you are a retard. (And before you bash me for using
the 'r-word', I will add that I do not, in fact, have any respect for
anyone with a sub-100 IQ, whether it is their fault or not. The
reason for this should be obvious - they are fucking dumb.)

3) I despise anyone who takes the Israel-Palestine conflict seriously.
It's a fucking turf war complicated by religion and by nebulous
cultural claims, which are just as absurd as the shit between Greece
and Macedonia about who can call themselves Macedonians, which is
really fucking dumb. Share, assholes; you learned this shit in
kindergarten. FUCKING SHARE HERITAGE AND LAND. IT'S NOT HARD. I am
perfectly happy to call Canadians Americans because they live on the
same fucking continent. Macedonians live in Macedonia. Call them
Macedonians. Let Palestinians have some land because they came from
there too. And fuck your stupid religious shit if you're religious,
it's all cultural faff anyway and you've never been able to produce
any actual evidence to support your bizarre claims about the universe.

4) I hate cultural and nationalistic shit, period. We're all the same
species. We all shit and eat and fuck. Sure, be nations, organize
into groups that have different ideas - it's a good thing, so people
can choose who they associate with. BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T USE
THAT AS A FUCKING EXCUSE TO KILL PEOPLE.

5) I hate business people. They do dumb and unethical shit just to
make more money. This has been borne out by all of history.

I see stupid people

2010-02-20T13:10:00.000-08:00

1. People in the office who play political games for their own personal gain because they are too stupid and/or too lazy to do any actual work.

2. People in the office who blatantly play favorites to suck-asses who suck ass just to get said people to do their fucking jobs. Fuck them.

3. Incompetence, at the least the kind that is not acknowledged. Fucking step out of the way and make room for someone else if you can't crack it, shithead.

4. Not having a satisfying career.

5. Shannon. At least right now.

Five Things I Hate - Times Four!

2010-02-11T15:07:00.000-08:00

This wonderful reader is gracing us with twenty things she hates. Just as well, since I ignore this blog so vehemently. Don't mean to. Enjoy.

I have a nice long list of things/people I hate. It's ranting time.

1) Religion. Since when do people venerate 3000-year-old executionmethods and think their imaginary friend is actually three people orthink the earth is 6000 years old or cannibalize their imaginaryfriend? Or since when do people walk several times about giant blackrocks in the middle of a stadium or think it is somehow okay andnecessary to whack off foreskins? Or since when do people think it isokay to waste food on libations to their imaginary friend or thinktheir imaginary friend is a blue-skinned many-armed weirdo or a dudewith an elephant head?At least the Pastafarians are funny.

2) Creationists. I'm not sure how mentally undeveloped these freaksare that they'll ignore all scientific evidence and instead tout theirfavorite book, authored 2000 years ago by some cretinous bunch ofpeasants, as some sort of proof.

3) Republicans. Giving more to the rich does not give to the poor,cutting taxes does not mean society gets more, women are notsecond-class citizens, the government does not own women's uteri, andtheocracy is a shitty form of government.

4) Postmodernists. If you mention deconstruction or Foucault one moretime, I am going to beat you over the head with both a copy of Strunkand White and stacks of scientific articles and literature that provethat you dudes are not only full of shit in calling others whodisagree with you sexist or racist, but also that you are moronicfuckbags who don't understand the wording of half the words you say.Sokal would be proud of me when I beat you into a pulp.

5) Anti-vaxxers. See #2, except instead of the buy-bull, they listento snake-oil peddlers.

6) The uneducated. I do not like idiots, and I especially hate theones without an education. College should be free so the people whocan't afford it but have the ability can get an education, and theones who don't have the ability should become corn fertilizer, becausein my opinion, if you aren't educated, you aren't worth the shit thatGeorge Bush expels on a daily basis. And I already hate anythingGeorge Bush produces.

7) Pregnant women. They give me the willies and their hormones make them nuts.

8) People who have more than 2 kids. You've already replacedyourself, morons. Get a fucking tubal or a vasectomy.

9) Children. Most of them are too fucking whiny and they're a sap ontheir parents' time and money. I'm not having any.

10) Histrionic people. Too much emotion makes for unstable assholes.Also, they're usually irrational. I don't like the excessivelyirrational. Can we give these people a permanent Valium drip?

11) Frat boys and sorority girls. This is self-explanatory.

12) Fundies. See #2 and #3.

13) Fred Phelps, because he deserves his own little category of hatefor being a frothing-at-the-mouth fuckbag (he hates gay people so muchI suspect he's so far in the closet that he's banging on the backwall) who even his own fellow boils-on-the-ass-of-humanity, thefundies, despise from the bottom of their putrid black pus-riddenpericardia (they have no hearts).

14) Those fucking little alarm clocks that go WAAAAAK WAAAAK WAAAAAKWAAAK WAAAK WAAAK.

15) Most fellow Americans. I don't think I have to explain this one.

16) Anyone who talks like this on the internet: "ASL OMG U R SO DUMCAN I HAVE PIC BRB WANT TO CYBER".

17) Reality TV.

18) Businessmen, journalists, and advertisers.

19) Politicians, who are really largely only in it for the paychecks.

20) Insecure people who, as a result, are hostile ignorant dickwads.

We don't mind the ranting!

2009-05-13T10:31:00.001-07:00

1. Waiting at the doctors office. Who do these doctors think they are? I set up an appointment a month in advance, I show up 5 minutes before the confirmed appointment time, yet I still have to sit and wait for 45 minutes in your lousy waiting room while music with a monotony similar to an overcast day slowly kills the right side of my brain? Completely unreasonable. It's condescending and rude, almost as if the doctor is trying to say "I know we had an appointment, but I am SO MUCH MORE important than you that you'll just have to wait anyway. You know what asshole? Next time I think I'll just diagnose myself.

2. Worthless things you have to learn in school. There's a place for everything you have to learn in school, all knowledge has its place. Why though should we have to learn absurd dribble that has absolutely zero relevance to my chosen career? If my goal is to become a commercial pilot, there is no fathomable reason for me to have to learn advanced calculus *PERIOD*. I know what being a pilot entail, and it sure as hell doesn't involve Leibniz notation. So you want to be a mathematician? Physicist? Good for you! Leave me the hell out of it. Don't get me wrong, having a sound knowledge of mathematics, the sciences, and history is essential, but you can only take it so far. While my English professor is preaching the underlying mechanics of grammar construction I should be learning basic avionics and FAA regulations.

3. People who vote on things without any real knowledge of what they're voting for (and don't pay any attention to the actions of whoever they voted for once they've won). Every now and then, you inevitably end up talking with your coworker about politics. Now I don't know about you, but I could honestly care less who they are voting for. At the very least, however, they should know something about all the choices, especially the one they are supporting. "I'm voting for candidate X!" "Well, can you explain why he gets your vote? What makes him the better choice?" "Uh, he's pretty cool! His age! I don't really have any goddamn idea! It seems like the popular choice!". Brilliant job taking advantage of the democratic system. Oh wait, you're actually just supporting a moronocracy. Three, four, five months later politics comes up again. Inevitably the politician has done something godawful by this time, so you ask "So, is the person you voted in everything you thought they would be?" in a sarcastic tone hoping to provoke some poorly thought out defense. No, sorry, you won't even get that. Instead you're greeted with a mind shatteringly stupid "Why? What has he done? Ohh... Is it bad?". Speechless.

4. Restaurants serving cuisine that goes completely against the rest of the menu. It's 2:30, and you haven't eaten lunch, know what that means? It means you're hungry. And today, you feel like you want some Chinese food. That's right, General Tsao take me away to spicy chicken paradise. So you head to the closest Chinese restaurant, what do you know, it's an all you can eat Chinese buffet. All you can eat? Perfect, you're ready to power down some serious rice. You hastily park your car not quite parallel with the lines, rush inside, grab a table for one, and before you've even finished ordering your drink you're walking among isles of delicious Chinese dishes ready for the taking. Orange chicken, Hong Kong chicken, maybe you're feeling adventurous and something you don't recognize finds its way to your plate. Then you see it, glaring at you like a huge mole on the otherwise perfect skin of an attractive woman. Fucking pizza. Not just pizza, but pizza that looks like it was REJECTED from the high school cafeteria. Your appetite is injured, horribly injured. As you make your way back to your table you start to wonder, why is there pizza at a Chinese buffet? Your question is promptly answered by a gluttonous squeal from the booth behind you. Children. Parents who bring their whiny children to a Chinese buffet when they know damn well they're kids don't want anything outside the average bland American dish. Because of this, poor Ming in the kitchen has had to try to cobble together a pizza to please the obnoxious soccer moms who complain that there was nothing for their children to eat, which leaves less love for the egg drop soup. *rage*At this point I'm noticing the increasing length of these entries, an obvious sign of my descent into incoherent ranting. I'll do my best to wrap this up without ruining my keyboard by uncontrollably frothing at the mouth. No promises. If I don't make it, expect a future follow-up

5. Oh you've got to be kidding me. The ass behind be just spilled his syrupy fucking drink all over the floor, and it has run beneath my desk, coating the soles of my shoes. Now I'll have to walk around the rest of the day with that annoying stickyness and sickening sound thnkas to his iind;.dalmkm./........................................

EDITOR'S NOTE: I will have to differ with you on the Chinese buffets. Those places are cheap (both in cost and in substance) and I am actually delighted by their take on Western foods. There is one I go to with my sister in Springfield Illinois and it is just hilarious some of the things they come up with. E.g. baked mussels covered in cheese and breadcrumbs. Annoying as it may be, if you want good Chinese food without a bunch of that other crap thrown in, you have to go to a Chinatown restaurant. (I don't know where you live, but if you're in a major city most of them do have a Chinatown district.)

Class hatred

2009-03-31T10:34:00.001-07:00

1. i hate when people show up to class 10 minutes before it ends, suffle all of their crap out of their bag and then start to eat a bag of doritos.

2. i hate when people make completely irrelevantant comments during the lecture. shut up if you dont know what your talking about. this includes the guy that sits in the front and has an opinion about everything.

3. i hate when people dont show up 2 weeks at a time and then ask me for all the notes they missed.

4. i hate the old lady in my class who thinks that because she's old, she's smarter then everyone else. she's not.

5. i hate the guy that sits behind me and pays more attention to what i'm doing on my computer then his own. yes, you. i can see you in reading my writing in the reflection. get back to work.

Ed note: Reason #2 is why I had to stop being an English major in college. If one more person gave their boring and totally irrelevant opinion on whatever we were reading, I was going to kill myself. So it was an easy choice.

CP

Calling 9-1-1 Hatred!

2009-03-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

1. People that call the police for EVERYTHING. (from a lost phone to a DOG THAT IS BARKING AND NO ONE IS OUTSIDE)

2. People that complain about the police, but don't get any information on said police car (unit number, time of day-- NOTHING)

3. People that threaten dispatchers ("I pay your salary!")

4. People that dial 911 screaming on a cell phone, but don't give an address.

5. Management that expects you to work miracles and does not give you the resources needed.

Thanks, (yes I am a 911 dispatcher)

ed note: Thanks for this fascinating post! So is the story about people waking up in a bathtub filled with ice with instructions to call 9-1-1 because they had their kidneys harvested really true?

(And please don't make #6 "People who ask stupid questions about what it's like to be a 9-1-1 operator!")

CP

Justifiable hate

2009-03-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

1. Take out sushi with one weenie little packet of soy sauce.

2. Giant truck owners who can't fit their vehicle between the parking lines.

3. Days that start out sunny and go cloudy

4. Billions in bail outs for the rich, but nothing for the unemployed and hungry.

5. Rush Limbaugh

Even later hate

2009-02-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

1) people who are obsessed with horses and talk about them all the livelong day/have posters of them on their bedroom walls/are convinced that by not owning a horse, their lives are unfulfilled

2)teachers who set ridiculous amounts of work, expect you to have done it to an amazing level and yet can never be bothered to mark it

3) people who are ignorant about what's going on around them. There is simply no excuse for that

4) pilots who dont know how to fly planes and scare the absolute crap out of me during take off/landing/the entire duration of the flight

5) stupidly expensive tights (pantyhose) that get ladders in them as soon as you put them on and you physically have to hold back the tears on the train because you can believe tights that cost you £8.99 have been ruined before you even get to work

Late hate

2009-02-20T11:34:00.000-08:00

1. I hate it when people don't look you in the eye when they are talking to you (or when you are talking to them). It seems they are looking for something else more interesting than you to talk/ listen to. If they are not interested, I would rather them say "Excuse me, I really need to go talk to this guy, or go use the bathroom, whatever" than to have your self-esteem plummet.

2. I REALLY hate it when it's your significant other pretending to listen to you.

3. I REALLY hate it when I can't tell my significant other that I DON'T like that. B/c then I'll start crying. Then I can't finish what I set out to say. I hate to cry in front of others when it's personal (I'll cry at a movie or email or whatever, but when it's personal, forget it, hate it). He asks me in front of the kids: You don't look happy, what's the matter? It's all I can do to say "nothing" and bang some dishes around until I go to the bathroom and cry.

4. I hate it when he pretends not to know what I'm saying (I am really horrible at verbal communication). And I know he knows what I'm saying, or what I want to say. Because, hell, if my sis-in-law, who I've known really well for 5 years can know what I'm saying, HE of all people should know what I'm saying or want to say, b/c we've been together for 25 years??? (Does this make sense, b/c it would sure make sense to my sisin law)!!
Is this a guy thing?? B/c I sure was hoping it was getting better, but it has detierioated (sp) since we got married (and esp. since we had kids).

5. I went to judge a Debate Forum this weekend. It was truly, wonderfully fabulous. Did anyone ask how it went when I got home? (crickets chirping).
Oh, wait, hubby asked (with eyes rivited on computer) "how'd debate thingee go? (I said ok, noticing he was otherwise occupied).
They only asked "What's for lunch?" "What are we doing today?".
I think this has been going on with me and others, for a long time. It's my own fault, too. It's time to change. I need to stomp my feet up and down. Get noticed. Have a hissy-f*cking-fit?? Whadyathink?

Ooops --- there's no hate thingee for number 5-- umm--how about "I hate it when there's no more beer in the fridge??"

Very crabby hate

2009-01-28T21:43:00.000-08:00

1) Medians in middle of roads—seems I’ve spent hours going around them (to next light, making u-turn, etc) when I could’ve made the damn LEFT TURN in a second!

2) Sign ins on web sites (congrats--yours doesn’t have one!) “Sorry, try again…sorry, try again…you’ve been locked out!” What are we (or they) trying to protect ourselves from? Password….ooooo—now I’m safe….

3) Colonoscopies—ah…. When it’s your time………

4) Execs. not taking the same hit their “subjects” (employees) take

5) People who say “How are you?” Really want to know and have an hour or so?

Things Joe Hates

2008-11-22T16:41:00.000-08:00

Our new friend Joe at Things Joe Hates writes in with his five things. To read the details of why he hates these particular five things, see his blog. Just don't decide to love him more than you love me.

CP

5. Plastic Shell Anti-Theft Packaging

4. Flying and Airports (ed. note: this is actually two things but we'll let it pass.)

3. Bathroom offenders (including the "no wash," the "no flush," the "blower" and the "moan & groan.") (ed. note: we initially got excited about "the blower" until we understood he was talking about a hand dryer.)

2. Processed Cheese

1. Spiders

Five Things PLUS

2008-11-16T18:09:00.001-08:00

This Gentle Reader is so full of putrid bile that he sent not five but SIXTEEN things he hates. He is just the kind of guy we need over here at Five Things I Hate.

Good thing we like bending the rules 'round here. I was going to group them in lists of FIVE as per our custom, and post them as multiple entries, but I didn't on accounta I'm lazy. I reserve the right to do so in the future. And while I'm at it, I reserve the right to do whatever else the fuck I want.

Actually, our Gentle Reader technically submitted SEVENTEEN things because he opened his email with a little story about housecleaning and then said "Anywho... (and I hate that too, but I get to say it, because, well, it's me.)"

But since it's not numbered with the rest of them I'm not counting it.

CP

************************

1. I hate days that are gray but don't rain. What's the point? If it's going to be cloudy and gloomy, then go ahead and rain. It's like a wasted effect. Sure, just go ahead and depress the hell outta everyone, but don't finish the job. Jeez.

2. I hate pushy drivers. It's just irritating. Here she comes, in an SUV, talking on a cell, smoking a cig and going about 30 MPH faster than I'm going and I'm already behind someone traveling the right speed on a two-lane, NO PASSING road. But does that stop her? Nope. She just keeps barrelling up to my bumper and then starts veering over to make sure I notice her in ALL of my rear-view mirrors. I could go on, but I'm sure you've been there. She's probably got pure Starbucks coffee in her veins.

3. People who talk loud. Are they hard of hearing? Have they already made themselves deaf from their own loudness? And why does their volume DOUBLE the minute they are on their cell? I just want to yell at them: USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!!!!

4. Cereal that gets soggy within less than a minute. We can land a man on the moon... so what's the deal? Are they training us for some kind of odd food-eating race? Avoid these brands:Any kind of bran flakeWheatiesCorn Flakes(This list may be added to at your leisure).

5. People who point out my typos when I've already told them it's a rough draft. It's not like I don't have spell-check. I just don't want to bother with all that BS until later. Quote: I'm sending you this rough draft and calling it a rough draft because IT'S ROUGH, dammit!Bonus Round:

6. When my mate uses my toothbrush by mistake. Look, I know that we've shared probably what amounts to sheer gallons of spit in the 14 years we've been together, but I don't recall needing or wanting to share old bits of food detritus or plaque. It creeps me out. And he also brushes those big ol' horse teeth of his like he's trying to take off the first layer of enamel which turns my brush into a flattened version of it's former self. It's just icky. Please make it stop.

7. Cigarette smoke smells on clothing. Way worse than just the pure smoke. Especially on chain smokers. You know the type, they are usually in Walmarts (I did that on purpose) and you get behind them and "wooohf!" it just takes over the entire aisle and then permeates YOUR clothing too like it's ALIVE, it's ALIVE!!! Get me outta there!

8. Dick Chaney's sneer. Oh, and his blatant imperviousness to U.S. Laws.

9. Carl Rove. See No. 8 above.

10. Sarah Palin's voice. More than just irritating. Hate-inducing.

11. People who pile up bags of mulch on their driveways but never use them. Like my neighbors across the street, for instance. 4 years going now. Wanna get in on the pool? I already have Spring 2012. I figure it will have decomposed into soil by then.

12. Dust. What is that crap anyway? I heard it's dried skin cells, but I have my doubts. I mean, c'mon... am I really losing that much skin in a week?

13. Extra packaging on food products for no apparent reason. Take Scalloped Potatoes, for instance. There's the box. Then you have the plastic bag for the dried potatoes. Then you have the fake-cheese-flavorings foil packet. I mean, really... can't they just put all that into ONE bag and put it on the shelf???

14. People who are late. Especially those who show up with zero excuse. C'mon, at least make something up! Last time this happened to me the girl just looked at me as if to say, "What? This is normal for me." I've dropped habitual late friends from my list. Including my sister. Seriously. This is a big deal for me.And last but not least:

15. Earwax. Why does this exist? What purpose does it serve? And why is it so damn hard to clean out? And it's soooo gross. The whole subject deserves special study but the only answer science has come up with is Q-tips. And we all know they don't really do the job justice. oh, one more:

16. Zits. 'nuff said.

ohhh, i feel sooo much better now. thanks!

Spamodious hate

2008-11-14T03:39:00.000-08:00

1. Mr Haji Bello from Ouagadougou Burkina Faso., who acknowledges that his message might "meet me in utmost surprise" but assures me it is simply his "urgent need for a foreign partner" that made him contact me for help with this transaction. All he wanted was my name, address, phone, fax and age - but when I sent him all this I asked if he didn't also need my bank account information so that he could transfer the $10.5 million dollars that he promised. He STILL hasn't gotten back to me - how rude!

2. Mrs. Dianne Thompson of the U.K. National Lottery. She told me that my email ID won me Lotto!! £891,000+ pounds sterling!! She told me to contact a Mr Phil Herald with all sorts of identifying information (next of kin, occupation, that sort of thing) but again, after sending all this NO WORD AT ALL. What a fucking tease.

3. Mr Phil Herald of U.K. National Lottery. See above. Have you ever heard of such rudeness?

4. Dr Anthony Chognot who emailed me that I won £1.350,000GBP. Why, just when I have had all this luck, are these people not emailing or calling me back to tell me when I'll get my money?

5. hzgmvd@serviceonline.org. This person didn't even tell me their name, but sent me this disturbing email saying merely "we are required to open investigation!" I emailed him or her back asking which of my bank accounts was at issue here. Now I'm all nervous because I don't know which bank account might be shut down if they don't get back to me in time.

The nerve of these people!

Post-electoral hate

2008-11-06T15:06:00.001-08:00

1. When you pay good money for crappy food

2. Having to wait until election day for President Obama

3. W

4. Right wing nut jobs

5. Idiots

Today is not opposite day

2008-10-31T18:21:00.001-07:00

Today is not opposite day so I'm not posting a list a reader sent in of things she loves instead of hates.

1. Phone rings early this morning. Crawl out of bed and said hello,hello,hello?? Realized my sis-in-law had accidently called my number on the way to her work. I hear her flipping the radio stations, then all of a sudden "You stupid f**king idiot-- see if I don't sideswipe you if you try to do that sh*t again!" The radio flipping stops and she listens to a politcal campaign ad. (How unlike her!). Then, "This person is going too d*mn slow". I was laughing my *ss off-- what a way to wake up in the morning!!!

2. People who love each other getting married.

3. I like that my husband can live with my messy housekeeping.

4. I like Halloween parties and baby showers.

5. I love my family.

Happy Not Halloween.
CP

Smellular hatred

2008-10-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

1. Cigarette smoke

2. The sickening smell that hits you in the face when you open a dirty garbage can

3. Electrical utility boxes in the street (weird, metallic and probably poisonous smell)

4. Dog pee

5. Bacteria breath

Drunken Hatred

2008-10-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

1. I hate parents who beat their children.

2. I hate self-righteous religious assholes who try to make their assholey religious beliefs the law of the land.

3. I hate all the idiot assholes who decided we should invade Iraq.

4. I hate it when my alcoholic husband gets sloppy, falling-down drunk and thinks I won't know he's drunk if he uses mouthwash before approaching me.

5 I hate cold wind and icy roads and just about everything else associated with winter in the northeast.

(Thanks for this great opportunity to vent!)

Manic Monday Hatred

2008-10-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

1. People who want to stop gay marriage.
2. Bigots
3. Republicans
4. Sarah Palin
5. That being intelligent and educated is suddenly considered "un-American"

Our newest hatred!

2008-10-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

1. Local Hwy. Patrol, Sheriff, City law enforcement escorting high school football teams through red lights. Or escorting them anywhere. I get mad when I pull over and it's just school buses being escorted and they fly on by. Don't they know that's dangerous??

2. Election stuff.

3. "Educated" people mixing up "there and their" and "affect and effect" and putting an "s" on the end of words that shouldn't have an "s" (ex: Walmarts). It just makes my neck hairs stand on end. (Ok, why is there an "an" before "s" and not an "a"? or do I have it mixed up? )

4. When your kids don't do what they are supposed to do.

5. When people moan about how much money they don't have or are losing in the stock market. It'll bounce back.

Thanks for the rant, I feel better now.

I'm baaaaack!

2008-10-23T06:10:00.001-07:00

Five Things I Hate has had a 2-year hiatus, but now we're back, stronger than ever - and this time we are going to stay!

Email five things you hate to fivethingsihate@yahoo.com and we will post them for all the world to see.

Think of Five Things I Hate as a way to release your anger into the ether, where it will dissipate and trickle down only onto the assholes who deserve it.

Or it will go away altogether, contributing to world peace. Yeah, that's it.

Ok, I'll get us started: Here are today's Five Things I Hate:

1. Getting a sore throat right before my marriage weekend

2. Text messages indicating a certain family member is starting to act up already

3. The fact that it's very difficult for my family to have any sort of event without someone causing drama

4. The fact that I couldn't even invite two of my own brothers to my wedding because they don't know how to behave in public

5. Gagging whenever I try to do a salt-water gargle.

Tell us five things YOU hate.

Your proprietor,
Coaster Punchman

Venting....

2006-12-29T08:39:00.001-08:00

1. I am so stinking tired of the proliferation of
advertising. Watch a Pro Sporting event, like an NBA
game. There is so much crap telling me what I should
buy. Even at college levels, on the scoreboard, on the
railings and rafters. Even the name of the building is
called after something.  They just renamed the Utah
Jazz's Delta center to “the Energy Solutions Arena”,
In case all the fans have nuclear waste they need to
get rid of.

2. In the same vein, I hate the logos on the TV
screen, because if a show I watch is on NBC or a
thousand other networks I need to know that the whole
time I am watching it. There was even a logo
advertising something illegible over the bottom half
of the score so I couldn't read the score.  And worse
they now preview what is coming up in the middle of a
movie or TV show, and the characters are moving
around. SHIT!!! how distracting and annoying.

3. People who insist on making a left hand turn
through three lanes of backed up on coming traffic.
Just go down to the next light and come back up!!!!

4. When the price of something doesn’t include some
obvious things.  “So you want your tires changed? Oh
well we have to add on disposal fees, balancing fees,
wrench rental fees, lunch for the guy who is changing
the tires and so on.  A Tire that is advertised for
69.99 shouldn’t end up costing me 103.24 without
taxes.

5.  I just hate my cell phone bill. There are, again,
so many additional charges, multiple taxes and
surcharges.  If my phone plan is 39.99 why do I end up
paying 56 bucks! How much is cell phone taxes
34%?!?!?!

thanks for that rant, it does a body good.

Kindergarten Hatred

2006-09-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

There are lots of things to love but 5 things that I hate are in no rank order:

1. Children yelling at each other to tell each other what to do: i.e. "Boy, you best get outta ma way!"

2. Children rolling up paper and pretending to pass it as a joint.

3. Children tattling and saying my name over and over and over and over during the day.

4. Children hiding under tables, throwing staples, paper balls, or any other small object... oh, and screeching... I hate screeching, too.

5. Feeling completely out of control... I hate Semtember.

http://kindergartenerinme.blogspot.com

Summer Rant

2006-08-23T03:04:00.000-07:00

1. Wealthy graying men who think they own the road and all the parking spaces and act as if we should genuflect instead of flipping them off.

2. People who say they will do something, and you count on it, and then they back out at the last minute.

3. When it takes a week for my checks to clear.

4. The price of gas. Thanks for all the help, W.

5. Yellowjackets. The scourge of late summer.

Five things about my block

2006-07-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

1. the litter

2. the blatant drug dealing (do whatever you want to in your house,
just don't do it in front of mine)

3. the incessant honking of car horns (either get out of your car and
ring the doorbell or use your cell phone)

4. the yelling at all hours of the night

5. the section-8 slumlord apartment complex on the corner

More people ...

2006-07-06T06:24:00.000-07:00

...I couldn't be bothered with if I didn't run into them everywhere. (hate is a little too strong)

1. People who think they speak for everyone who is right and sane; whether they express a personal opinion or are acting as a company poster-child. (Because you wouldn't want to be wrong and insane for not agreeing)

2. People who are judgmental of others simply because others may be inconveniencing them; regardless of reason or larger picture. (ie. cursing the driver in front of them because they are slowing down... ...for a red light!)

3. People who take life too seriously.

4. People who put little value on life. (theirs or others')

5. People who were given extrodinary gifts of both charisma and stupidity.

Hatred in July

2006-07-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

1. The fact that Kenneth Lay died a quick death by heart attack before going off to prison. He should've been someone's butt boy for at least a year.

2. People who lose their individuality when they get married.

3. Assholes who don't clean up their dogs' shit.

4. Compulsive gamblers.

5. All those other assholes who caused the Enron collapse.

People hate

2006-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

1. I hate people who purport to have a "conversation" with you when all they do is change the subject every time you make a statement. Would it kill you to ask a follow up question to show the person you actually give a shit about what they are saying?

2. I hate people who are self centered.

3. I hate people who never laugh at anything you say because they are too busy trying to think of something even wittier to reply to you with.

4. I hate selfish cheapskates.

5. When it really comes down to it, I just hate people.

Commuter and office hatred

2006-06-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

1. The fucking wench who had her long hair hanging over the back of MY seat on the train, who then had the nerve to complain to me TWICE that everytime I moved I pulled hair. I wish I would have had the nerve to just grab it and yank her around like a stuffed toy. Instead, I'm venting to you.

2. Women who wear flip flops and other back-less shoes in the office. This is not summer camp, you stupid wenches. Grow up and realize you need a professional wardrobe.

3. Losers under 30 who just don't get what it means to dress and act professionally. God damn whippersnappers. When I was just starting out it was suits, ties and business suits. And don't you dare go visit one of your clients dressed like the tramps and losers that you are in the office.

4. People who shove past you to get into the train before the people getting off have had a chance to exit. You people were raised in fucking barns. Jesus Christ I hate people sometimes.

5. People who sit on their fat asses on busses and trains while some old person with a CANE stands. God damn. People are such shits I can hardly even stand it anymore. I'm about to have a "Falling Down" moment any day soon.

Summer hatred

2006-06-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

1. Standing next to a sweaty guy with the pungent aroma of garlic sweat on the Tube who has no sense of personal space.

2. Sticky condensation on my face that makes me look like I'm melting when I walk into air-conditioned buildings.

3. Chafing.

4. Oppressively still, heavy air that makes sleep impossible.

5. The smell of trash in alleyways on a 90 degree day.

Hating people in my neighborhood

2006-06-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

1. Middle aged men driving expensive cars. No, you do not own the road, and no, that car doesn't make your penis look bigger.

2. People who go outside to talk on the cell phone at night and talk loud enough for everyone within 100 yards to hear their entire conversation. Just because you don't have to get up in the morning doesn't mean that we all get to sleep in. And by the way, the reason he never called you again is because you're TOO DAMN LOUD!
3. Stroller moms. No, you don't own the road. Or the sidewalk. And please don't block the aisle in the bookstore with that thing.

4. Teen-aged gang-banger boys. Yes, I realize that you are very very cool, and oh so threatening, but you lose credibility when you spray paint on Newspaper boxes. Am I now supposed to believe that the Latin Kings control access to the Chicago Tribune?

5. Anyone wearing chaps.

Blog hatred

2006-06-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

1. When I'm hitting the "next" button on blogs, and the next blog is all customized and has no "next" button. That seriously interferes with my blog enjoyment. Grrr...

2. When the next blog is not only customized, but in another language.

3. When the next blog is just some spammy advertisement.

4. When there is a "next" button, but it has some funky banner thing over it so you can't click it or you'll be whisked away to some completely other page... very sneaky.

5. When the next blog is something brilliant (like Five Things I Hate), and I didn't think of it first!!!

http://uneffnbelievable.blogspot.com/

Capitol Hate

2006-06-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

1. Bush

2. Cheney

3. Rice

4. Rumsfeld

5. Gonzalez

Southern dislikes

2006-06-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

1. Tourists- in the south it's an endless cycle of tourists-from-the-north-who-don't know-that-the-left-lane-is-for-fast-moving-vehicles-only, morphing to tourists-who stop-in-the-middle-of-the-road-to-admire-the-ocean, ending with tourists-who-think-they-can-say-whatever-they-want-to-locals-as-of-they-were-a-local-themselves. Repeat this cycle. I hate it.

2. People who are not friendly to others. I mean, if a person is serving you (like in a restaurant), why be mean? Or if a telemarketer calls you, why be mean? They're just doing their job- just politely ask to be put on a do-not-call list and then say have a nice day.

3. Interestingly enough- telemarketers.

4. Chafing- that feeling of "if-I-so-much-as-walk-I-will-bleed-to-death-from-the-lack-of-skin-on-my-thighs" feeling is the WORST!

5. People who always want to argue- the people who respond with "The special effects sucked" when I say "That movie was great!" Or the people who say "That light was red" after I have just gone through a clearly yellow light. Or the people that hold onto a powerless point (like the earth being flat, for example), simply for the sake of making an argument.

www.tablesidehack.blogspot.com <-- interesting tales of a waiter

This just in from England

2006-06-02T14:22:00.000-07:00

1. People who call the office, don’t enunciate their names properly, and then get pissed off when you mispronounce it. TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN, THEN!

2. People who bump into me and expect me to say sorry. I won’t.

3. Bloody tourists – I mean, thanks for visiting the country and all, we Brits love you for it, but please get out of the bloody way when we’re trying to get past you. Don’t stand in front of me – MOVE!

4. Holding the door open for someone who doesn’t say thank you - HOPE. YOU. DIE.

5. Drivers who tell you to cross the road when they stop in traffic. Look, if the green man don’t say walk, I don’t walk. I cross the road in my own time and if you don’t like it, BOTHERED! I don’t tell you when to drive, do I?

Five things that make me crankier than usual

2006-05-31T00:45:00.000-07:00

#1 - People who are stupid and proud of it.

#2 - People who crack their knuckles & pretend it feels good.

#3 - Creationists, the latest soulmate of the Flat-Earth Society

#4 - Ebonics, which is actually nothing more than baby talk that nobody
related to the child was smart enough, educated enough or caring enough
to correct.

#5 - Open casket funerals

Get it?

2006-05-30T16:43:00.000-07:00

1. Casa Lupita

2. You just got punched in the...

3. Smoth

4. Shremph

5. Inside Jokes

No biggie, but

2006-05-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

1. A cappella singers

2. People who have made acting like a pirate "ironic"

3. When my lover cries in a plastic bag, writes the cause of her sadness on the bag in permanent marker, and throws the bag at me with such force that it explodes on me; and I'm forced to piece the bag back together to determine the source of her dissatisfaction

4. Racism

5. Garfield memorabilia

Duh!

2006-05-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

1. Women who wear tennis shoes with business suits. Get a comfortable pair of pumps, you look like an idiot.

2. Businesses that spell their name wrong, ala Kwik Kopy.

3. Female Disc Jockeys

4. Southern Accents

5. Grasshoppers

http://purplestar.typepad.com

Memorial Day Hatred

2006-05-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

1.Rumble strips (those things just past the white line on the side of the road that make that god-awful noise when you drive on 'em)

2. Forgetting to sniff a new carton of milk and finding out that it's sour after I've taken a big swig.

3. Stupid corporate cubicle-hamsters that can't read or even get out of the building without someone showing them how to open the bloody door.

4. Yard work

5. Syndicated television programming

People I hate and I don't care if this gives them more power

2006-05-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

1. Fred Goldyard

2. Jimmy Deale

3. Seymour Clastner

4. Bill Macher

5. Shelly Richmond

Miscellaneous hate on a Sunday

2006-05-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

1) I hate lists that ask for only five things that I hate when the list could be so much longer.

2) I hate some people but I will not name them for that gives them more power.

3) I hate that as I mature and feel a bit wiser over time, my body seems to prefer entropy.

4) I hate cheap nougat filling such as in a Snicker's bar.

5) I hate the fact that although the current leaders in our country are clearly bad and evil people, so have been the leaders in the non-profit jobs I have had - what is it with us that we love to be lead by such assholes?!!!

Hate on a Friday

2006-05-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

1. I hate lists that limit me to only 5 things I hate when I have so many more things to list.

2. I hate the smell of hot butterscotch sauce.

3. I hate whiny people especially if they have grating voices.

4. I hate stupidity, though I love the inane.

5. I hate that there is so much hate in the world.

I really hate...

2006-05-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

1. Wet Sock

2. Having My Internet Go Down

3. Throwing Away Food

4. Not Being Able To Find My Keys

5. The Fact That Our President Has Told Countless Lies That Have Contributed To The Deaths Of Thousands Of People, Continues To Repeat Such Lies While Wearing A Shit-Eating Grin, Ignores Anyone Who Tries To Suggest That He's A Liar, And Seems To Be Pretty Much Getting Away With It.

http://smussyolay.blogspot.com

Five things to hate at the movies

2006-05-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

1. Wrapper/Bag rustling noises.

2. Sitting by me when the theater is nearly empty.

3. Chewing noises.

4. Kicking the back of my seat.

5. Laughing louder and longer than everyone else, so we all know that
you *really* get it.

Filling a heart with Hate

2006-05-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

1. Dog owners who let their dogs walk off leash, then get mad when your dog wants to pick a fight with theirs. Umm, whose dog is loose?

2. Corporate lunches. I'm a stockholder - who the hell thinks that spending upwards of $200 for Potbellies so someone can have a "working lunch" is worth it? Make 'em pack.

3. Meetings. People who do nothing but go to meetings all day. Who's getting shit done?

4. Theater and film critics who turn out to be failed artists or someone who couldn't make it. Easy to screw someone else over with your opinion.

5. Any politician who uses "war speak" phrases, even though they themselves have never been in a war in their life, or even a fight.

Examples:
"That's the situation *on the ground*".

"Bring 'em on."

"Fighting them there so we don't have to fight them here"

"Iran? North Korea? Let's use diplomacy - no, has nothing to do with the fact that they have nukes"

Everyone loves to fight that doesn't have to get their hands bloody/dirty doing so.

Idolatry Hatred

2006-05-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

1. Listening to Katherine sing

2. Watching Katherine get her comments from the judges

3. Watching Katherine dance

4. Seeing Katherine's belly or cleavage

5. Katherine McPhee

#@*!@#!!! Five Things

2006-05-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

1. Dead beat dads who don't pay child support

2. The part of my bra that is making me itch right now

3. Long, sappy, drawn out sitcom series finales

4. How the military has such a nice way of screwing up my best laid plans

5. Inconsiderate neighbors

Very crabby

2006-05-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

1) People who say they don't watch tv.

2) People who don't swear

3) People who don't drink (acceptable if they are an alcoholic)

4) People who stop to adjust their roller-board suitcase immediately after departing a plane or jetway. Get the hell out of my way.

5) People who take up too much public space (walk on the left, stand on the right a-hole!)

Five Things now allows comments

2006-05-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Gentle readers,
At first I thought it would be a bad idea to allow for commenting on Five Things I Hate because I want this to be a safe space for you, my readers, to dump your bile without fear of tarnished reputations or any other repercussions.

However, after posting the last entry (where the poster talks about hating mouth noises) I was overwhelmed with the desire to insert my own feelings about mouth noises, being a secret-eating-listener as chronicled in the January 2005 archives of my main blog, Coaster Punchman's World.

I didn't want to detract from that person's entry by mucking it up with my own dirty laundry, and it soon became clear that I should just open up FTIH for commenting. I guess I could have just told you all of this in a comment. But that's the great thing about having a blog like Five Things I Hate. I am the lord of this webspace. I try to rule fairly, but sometimes I'm meaner than hell, just for the fun of it.

So enjoy, Gentle Readers. But remember that we must play nicely. You can make fun of people all you want in your comments, but if you post comments intending to reveal the identity of another poster, I will delete them. You are of course free to identify yourself in your own posting.

I hope this is fun. We'll see how it goes.

I hate most of these things too

2006-05-12T15:05:00.000-07:00

1. mouth noises (chewing with mouth open, popping gum, gross swallowingnoises, ill-fitting teeth noises, the "ahhh" after a refreshing drink,whistling, etc).

2. someone standing at a transaction counter (misc store, food counter,etc) for way too long after they've finished their transaction,apparently unaware that anyone else exists in the world and might bestanding behind them waiting to pay for their item.

3. slow, zig-zaging walkers.

4. loud talkers in public places.

5. people having to explain why they asked you a question, after youalready told them that you don't know the answer. Does it matter???

Jam etc.

2006-05-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

1. strawberry jam
2. toe jam
3. traffic jams
4. jam bands
5. boogers that retreat up your nose until you can't find them. god, i hate that.

Micromanagers

2006-05-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

1. 25 year old yahoos with MBAs who impose their supposed authority on seasoned salespeople, all from within their ivory cubicles in company HQ.

2. Reports on what you have done in your job.

3. Any person besides an immediate superior who demands such reports.

4. People who give orders while having no fucking clue what they are talking about.

5. The fact that it is illegal to murder, or at least lock up and torture, these micromanagers.

5 Things I Hate about the Gym

2006-05-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

1. People who spread out all over the benches in the locker room. Be aware of your surroundings.

2. The crazy Finnish woman who keeps throwing cold water on the steamroom sensor so that it spews out steam constantly.

3. Pubes.

4. The woman who does yoga in the steam room. I'm all for the whole mind-body thing, but it's steamy and dark in there; someone is going to trip over her.

5. The crosstraining machine of doom.

The Movies We Hate

2006-04-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

1) Ghost

2) Anything with Uma Thurman

3) Anything Star Trek

4) Video games made into movies

5) Comic books made into movies

Hatred 101 for small business owners

2006-04-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

1) Not being eligible for a loan because I'm not a man

2) Family lenders that make you pay with your soul

3) Fake smiles

4) You need a license for everything

5) Customers who try to haggle

Hating in general

2006-04-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

1) Our president

2) Hunters

3) Tail-gaters

4) Cheap people that have plenty of money

5) Pessimists

Public Nuisances

2006-04-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

1. People who sniffle every five seconds on the train,
refuse an entire package of tissue when offered, then
continue sniffling.

2. Spitting on the sidewalk.

3. Dog owners who don't leash their dogs, then act
indignant when their dog jumps on you (or your child),
like it's your fault.

4. Used diapers left on the ground in parking lots (or
anywhere else.)

5. The Red Eye

I hizzate

2006-04-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

5. Friends who use "advice" as a means to get on a soapbox and not to actually help you in any way.

4. People who accuse you of "stalking" when you call them twice in a week.

3. Actual stalkers who don't understand why you aren't picking up the phone.

2. People who say "conversate," "guestimate," "chillax," and those who applaud at the end of movies.

1. People who don't reply to e-mails. (How am I supposed to know that you received it?)

These things destroy my day

2006-04-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

1. Broken alarm clocks

2. People who swear that Ebonics is a language and should be taught in class

3. Waking up, and having it be colder in your room than it actually is outside

4. Running late, and finding out the coffee is cold

5. People who put shoes on their pets... (really, is this necessary?)

global hatred

2006-04-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

1. genocide

2. starvation

3. oppression

4. the under-funding of things vital to the common good, like education, health-care, social services and environmental health

5. governments that turn a blind eye to these things (and populaces who let them get away with it)

Things that End Up All Over Your F'ing House

2006-04-28T05:18:00.000-07:00

1. Christmas tree needles

2. Unhousebroken dog poop (for God’s sake, can’t they just stand in one place and do it??!!)

3. The dog poop you accidentally stepped on outside before coming inside

4. Kids’ sippy cups … filled with milk (they never loses the water-filled ones, for some reason)

5. Easter grass

Perhaps I Should Be a Hermit

2006-04-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

1. Being forced to pick up the slack for incompetent people. Why am I punished for being good at my job?

2. People who play the one-up game. They always have to be busier, tireder, and more stressed than you are.

3. Groups of Trixies with identically highlighted hair.

4. People who talk on their cells on public transportation.

5. "Wet talkers"

Gagville

2006-04-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

1. Raisins hidden in bread

2. Having to fart in a crowded elevator

3. Any driver who wears a jaunty little cap: guaranteed to go at least 10 mph under the speed limit

4. Sales calls (Do Not Call List, my butt)

5. Air guitarists

Whole Lotta Hatin' Goin' On

2006-04-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

1. Anyone that uses the term "emo"

2. fake tans

3. organized religion

4. cell phone drivers

5. reality TV

F the Blogosphere

2006-04-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

1. Indie-Rock Guys

2. Indie-Rock Girls

3. The first scuff on your white sneakers

4. Standardized Testing

5. The term "blogosphere"

I only get five?

2006-04-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

5. Donald Trump's hair

4. The Carls Jr. commercial where the guy is dirty dancing with a cow

3. When my gum loses it's flavor

2. Hearing the word "levee" (since Katrina and all the flooding here in Northern California it just seems to be repeated over, and over, and over...)

1. The media frenzy that is "TomKat"

Anally hate

2006-04-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

1. Anal leakage ) o (

2. "Churchie" television shows, they are everywhere. If I wanted to learn about your god I would go to a church.

3. Juicy Fruit commercials, the Juicy Fruit guy is gay ... I GET IT!!! They need to lose the song.

4. Toshiba, the company has screwed me too many times on VERY expensive products and then gave me almost no customer support during my warranty period.

5. Bureaucrats, damn smug bastards!

This just in from New Zealand

2006-04-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

1) People who think what they see on TV must be real

2) Bashers that think if they turn up on Tuesday instead of Sunday we won't realise what they want when they ask "Have you read God's word?"

3) Cows. Cows eat everything.

4) The "What time is it?" question, usually asked in view of a clock that you read to answer them.

5) Illegal (even if reasonable) invasions of other countries under the guise of bullshit reasoning when a simple & honest "We're in it deep if we don't get petrol soon" explanation would suffice.

I'm gonna puke

2006-04-19T07:42:00.001-07:00

1. Sales people who call at all hours of the day

2. Sore muscles

3. Stupid soap operas

4. When I have to pee but I'm really comfortable and don't want to get up so I sit there until my bladder almost explodes

5. Global warming

I can't stand it

2006-04-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

1. Corporate & bureaucratic red tape
2. Exercises in futility in any circumstance
3. Bill O'Reilly
4. Wars
5. DVD players

The world would be better without these things

2006-04-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

1.  SUVs and the people who drive them.
2.  Children who behave poorly in public places.
3.  The parents of the aforementioned children.
4.  People with overdeveloped senses of entitlement.
5.  Green peppers.

Retail is hell

2006-04-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

1. Customer Service

2. People who can't look me in the eye

3. Customers who throw wads of money on the counterand expect ME to sort it out

4. Customers who won't bother to return a simple"Hello" or "How are you?"

5. Customers who say "I want" rather than "I'd like"

Jaw-clenching, tooth-shattering loathing

2006-04-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

People who don't bother to look in a dictionary before they correct your word usage
Women in SUVs on cell phones
Men at sporting events on cell phones
Children plugged into portable DVD players at restaurants
Parents who shout instructions to their kids during their kids' little league games

Aggravation

2006-04-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

1. Colleagues who tell me how to do my job

2. Annoying customers

3. Slow computers

4. Offices that are too hot

5. Lack of decent coffee at work

Hatey-hate-hate

2006-04-12T18:24:00.000-07:00

1. People who don't know what the word "dogma" means

2. Assholes who won't let me cross the left lane to get into the carpool lane

3. The Yankees

4. After-market rims

5. Fake tits

Blech

2006-04-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Milk that’s already gone bad when you buy it at the store
Corporate speak
People with no sense of humor
People who know you but act like they don’t
Stop lights that aren’t timed properly

Jaw-clenching irritants

2006-04-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

1. Heavy-handed purveyors of atheist dogma

2. Slow drivers in the left lane

3. People who stand too close when they're talking to you

4. Chicago Cub fans

5. People who cannot or will not really listen.

I could go on for days

2006-04-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

1. When people say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less". Hello!

2. Incorrect use of apostrophes, especially "it's" instead of "its" for the possessive, followed closely by the use of apostrophes for everything plural. That drives me crazy!

3. Conservative Christians.

4. Shoveling snow in winter, yard work of any kind in summer.

5. PT Cruisers.

Things I hate with a passion that burns like one thousand suns

2006-04-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

1. People who act like they know everything when they don’t. It’s OK to admit when you actually have no clue.

2. Inability to work together for the common good.

3. Injustice of all kinds. That might burn like a million suns. Not sure.

4. Extremism, no matter where it comes from. That “everything in moderation” idea is a pretty good one.

5. Bureaucratic BS. Just tell me the truth. I can handle it.

Hate!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

1. The Exclamation Mark!

2. When people mix up you're/your.

3. That there is no "degree" symbol on my keyboard.

4. The period.

5. My period.

AAAAArrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh

2006-04-11T06:19:00.000-07:00

1. People in organized groups who purport to speak for the group (even though they don't) and say stupid, thoughtless, clueless things that the other group members get blamed for and have to fix. Constantly.

2. People who complain about traffic who don't ride bikes, walk, or take transit. Ever.

3. Self-righteous, hypocritical Bush supporters

4. Thoughtless, clueless Bush supporters.

5. Getting caught up in hating the hate mongers and morons so much I become a hate monger and moron about it.

Damn

2006-04-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

1. Work
2. Working out
3. Going to work
4. Staying at work
5. Work (did I mention that I hate working?)

Hate you, mean it

2006-04-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

1. When your ice cream cone bottom breaks off

2. Arguing incessantly for no reason

3. US dependency on foreign oil

4. Bottled water

5. Jelly

Hate it hate it hate it

2006-04-10T15:56:00.000-07:00

1. Karl Rove
2. Jerry Springer
3. Texas
4. Anything that tastes like a Snickers bar
5. Myself

I'm so mad I could spit tacks!

2006-04-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

1. Racist assholes
2. Motherfuckin god people
3. Evil BushCo dickhead warmongers
4. Ignorant "pro-life" twats
5. Traffic

I'm about to go over the edge

2006-04-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

1.Bigots
2.Ignorance
3.Fundamentalists
4.Sheeple
5.Liars

And another thing...

2006-04-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

1. The majority of women from a certain part of the globe

2. Dishonest people

3. Selfishly manipulative people (everyone manipulates as I see it, it's just that the really bad characteristic of manipulative people is when they are manipulative in a completely selfish way)

4. Grease-soaked food of any kind

5. Trashy people

Ooooh, I tell ya

2006-04-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

1. Blogs from Singapore that have too many graphics and say little except "Praise the Lord!"
2. Slow Internet connections
3. People with sticks up their asses
4. Asses
5. Tears

God damn, I hate these things:

2006-04-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

1. Religious fundamentalists hell-bent on converting my ass
2. Obstinate people who simply cannot grasp the principle of "all roads lead to Rome."
3. A bad injury (currently nursing a bad ankle.)
4. Religious lies of all sorts
5. Oppressive, right-wing governments.

Very annoying

2006-04-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

1. Rude people
2. Bad table manners
3. Nail biters
4. Inconsiderate drivers
5. Paris Hiton

I tell you, this really pisses me off

2006-04-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

1. Andie McDowell
2. Biting my lip
3. Indigestion
4. Work
5. Mean religions

First list

2006-04-01T10:19:00.000-08:00

1. Littering
2. People who stand in the subway door
3. Dog turds on the sidewalk
4. George W. Bush
5. Phone bills

2006-03-31T06:34:00.000-08:00