I hizzate

5. Friends who use "advice" as a means to get on a soapbox and not to actually help you in any way.

4. People who accuse you of "stalking" when you call them twice in a week.

3. Actual stalkers who don't understand why you aren't picking up the phone.

2. People who say "conversate," "guestimate," "chillax," and those who applaud at the end of movies.

1. People who don't reply to e-mails. (How am I supposed to know that you received it?)