Thursday, June 08, 2006

Hating people in my neighborhood

1. Middle aged men driving expensive cars. No, you do not own the road, and no, that car doesn't make your penis look bigger.

2. People who go outside to talk on the cell phone at night and talk loud enough for everyone within 100 yards to hear their entire conversation. Just because you don't have to get up in the morning doesn't mean that we all get to sleep in. And by the way, the reason he never called you again is because you're TOO DAMN LOUD!
3. Stroller moms. No, you don't own the road. Or the sidewalk. And please don't block the aisle in the bookstore with that thing.

4. Teen-aged gang-banger boys. Yes, I realize that you are very very cool, and oh so threatening, but you lose credibility when you spray paint on Newspaper boxes. Am I now supposed to believe that the Latin Kings control access to the Chicago Tribune?

5. Anyone wearing chaps.

3 Comments:

Blogger Amy said...

I am sooo feeling the second thing on the list there. My neighbors do this all the @*&#$% time!!!

9:31 PM  
Blogger Melinda June said...

For me, it's those damn stroller bitches. Go stay at home where you belong.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Alasdair said...

Amy must live near me. At least she didn't notice my stylish chaps or the can of spray paint.

3:27 PM  

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