Today is not opposite day

Today is not opposite day so I'm not posting a list a reader sent in of things she loves instead of hates.

1. Phone rings early this morning. Crawl out of bed and said hello,hello,hello?? Realized my sis-in-law had accidently called my number on the way to her work. I hear her flipping the radio stations, then all of a sudden "You stupid f**king idiot-- see if I don't sideswipe you if you try to do that sh*t again!" The radio flipping stops and she listens to a politcal campaign ad. (How unlike her!). Then, "This person is going too d*mn slow". I was laughing my *ss off-- what a way to wake up in the morning!!!

2. People who love each other getting married.

3. I like that my husband can live with my messy housekeeping.

4. I like Halloween parties and baby showers.

5. I love my family.


Happy Not Halloween.
CP

Smellular hatred

1. Cigarette smoke

2. The sickening smell that hits you in the face when you open a dirty garbage can

3. Electrical utility boxes in the street (weird, metallic and probably poisonous smell)

4. Dog pee

5. Bacteria breath

Drunken Hatred

1. I hate parents who beat their children.

2. I hate self-righteous religious assholes who try to make their assholey religious beliefs the law of the land.

3. I hate all the idiot assholes who decided we should invade Iraq.

4. I hate it when my alcoholic husband gets sloppy, falling-down drunk and thinks I won't know he's drunk if he uses mouthwash before approaching me.

5 I hate cold wind and icy roads and just about everything else associated with winter in the northeast.

(Thanks for this great opportunity to vent!)

Manic Monday Hatred

1. People who want to stop gay marriage.
2. Bigots
3. Republicans
4. Sarah Palin
5. That being intelligent and educated is suddenly considered "un-American"

Our newest hatred!

1. Local Hwy. Patrol, Sheriff, City law enforcement escorting high school football teams through red lights. Or escorting them anywhere. I get mad when I pull over and it's just school buses being escorted and they fly on by. Don't they know that's dangerous??

2. Election stuff.

3. "Educated" people mixing up "there and their" and "affect and effect" and putting an "s" on the end of words that shouldn't have an "s" (ex: Walmarts). It just makes my neck hairs stand on end. (Ok, why is there an "an" before "s" and not an "a"? or do I have it mixed up? )

4. When your kids don't do what they are supposed to do.

5. When people moan about how much money they don't have or are losing in the stock market. It'll bounce back.

Thanks for the rant, I feel better now.

I'm baaaaack!

Five Things I Hate has had a 2-year hiatus, but now we're back, stronger than ever - and this time we are going to stay!

Email five things you hate to fivethingsihate@yahoo.com and we will post them for all the world to see.

Think of Five Things I Hate as a way to release your anger into the ether, where it will dissipate and trickle down only onto the assholes who deserve it.

Or it will go away altogether, contributing to world peace. Yeah, that's it.



Ok, I'll get us started: Here are today's Five Things I Hate:

1. Getting a sore throat right before my marriage weekend

2. Text messages indicating a certain family member is starting to act up already

3. The fact that it's very difficult for my family to have any sort of event without someone causing drama

4. The fact that I couldn't even invite two of my own brothers to my wedding because they don't know how to behave in public

5. Gagging whenever I try to do a salt-water gargle.




Tell us five things YOU hate.

Your proprietor,
Coaster Punchman