Perthian hate

Today's rant comes all the way from Perth, Australia.

1. When people with less ability, experience and intelligence than you succeed at a task you have not yet attempted because you've been too damn scared to try and now feel stupid because some moron has achieved success in that endeavour first.
2. Idiots who lack the ability to understand that speaking at 100 decibels or more into their ridiculous mobile phones in a public place is not going to get their point across any better, it's simply going to piss off those unfortunate people around them who have to listen to their drivel - hey losers, we don't know you and we certainly don't care or need to know about your pathetic life.
3. People that deem it unnecessary to demonstrate basic manners to their fellow human beings - newsflash to all you rude, insufferably inconsiderate and self-absorbed people: manners cost nothing and help us all get along much better, so do the world a favour and include simple words like 'thanks', 'please' and 'excuse me' in your obviously severely limited vocabulary, if that's not too much trouble.
4. Having to repeat basic instructions / advice / comments more than once as it is extremely irritating to have to repeat something to a person clearly not possessed of either the cognitive capability or attention span to get it the first fucking time.
5. This is the big one - people who cannot drive!!! I wish I had a dollar (or even 50 cents!) for each time I encountered either a scarily inept or dangerously oblivious driver on the road who either cut me off, randomly turned or changed lanes without signalling (just quietly, I'm not psychic and can't guess what you're going to do next - kindly help the rest of us out by using your fucking indicator) or decided it would be a fantastic idea to tailgate me in the hope that I'll break the speed limit to satisfy their urge to get to their destination half a minute faster. I would be one rich son of a gun if that were the case.

Five Things I Hate - Times Four!

This wonderful reader is gracing us with twenty things she hates. Just as well, since I ignore this blog so vehemently. Don't mean to. Enjoy.

I have a nice long list of things/people I hate. It's ranting time.

1) Religion. Since when do people venerate 3000-year-old executionmethods and think their imaginary friend is actually three people orthink the earth is 6000 years old or cannibalize their imaginaryfriend? Or since when do people walk several times about giant blackrocks in the middle of a stadium or think it is somehow okay andnecessary to whack off foreskins? Or since when do people think it isokay to waste food on libations to their imaginary friend or thinktheir imaginary friend is a blue-skinned many-armed weirdo or a dudewith an elephant head?At least the Pastafarians are funny.

2) Creationists. I'm not sure how mentally undeveloped these freaksare that they'll ignore all scientific evidence and instead tout theirfavorite book, authored 2000 years ago by some cretinous bunch ofpeasants, as some sort of proof.

3) Republicans. Giving more to the rich does not give to the poor,cutting taxes does not mean society gets more, women are notsecond-class citizens, the government does not own women's uteri, andtheocracy is a shitty form of government.

4) Postmodernists. If you mention deconstruction or Foucault one moretime, I am going to beat you over the head with both a copy of Strunkand White and stacks of scientific articles and literature that provethat you dudes are not only full of shit in calling others whodisagree with you sexist or racist, but also that you are moronicfuckbags who don't understand the wording of half the words you say.Sokal would be proud of me when I beat you into a pulp.

5) Anti-vaxxers. See #2, except instead of the buy-bull, they listento snake-oil peddlers.

6) The uneducated. I do not like idiots, and I especially hate theones without an education. College should be free so the people whocan't afford it but have the ability can get an education, and theones who don't have the ability should become corn fertilizer, becausein my opinion, if you aren't educated, you aren't worth the shit thatGeorge Bush expels on a daily basis. And I already hate anythingGeorge Bush produces.

7) Pregnant women. They give me the willies and their hormones make them nuts.

8) People who have more than 2 kids. You've already replacedyourself, morons. Get a fucking tubal or a vasectomy.

9) Children. Most of them are too fucking whiny and they're a sap ontheir parents' time and money. I'm not having any.

10) Histrionic people. Too much emotion makes for unstable assholes.Also, they're usually irrational. I don't like the excessivelyirrational. Can we give these people a permanent Valium drip?

11) Frat boys and sorority girls. This is self-explanatory.

12) Fundies. See #2 and #3.

13) Fred Phelps, because he deserves his own little category of hatefor being a frothing-at-the-mouth fuckbag (he hates gay people so muchI suspect he's so far in the closet that he's banging on the backwall) who even his own fellow boils-on-the-ass-of-humanity, thefundies, despise from the bottom of their putrid black pus-riddenpericardia (they have no hearts).

14) Those fucking little alarm clocks that go WAAAAAK WAAAAK WAAAAAKWAAAK WAAAK WAAAK.

15) Most fellow Americans. I don't think I have to explain this one.

16) Anyone who talks like this on the internet: "ASL OMG U R SO DUMCAN I HAVE PIC BRB WANT TO CYBER".

17) Reality TV.

18) Businessmen, journalists, and advertisers.

19) Politicians, who are really largely only in it for the paychecks.

20) Insecure people who, as a result, are hostile ignorant dickwads.