Five Star Hate

1. Hipsters. They really just bother me to the core, for reasons too numerous to list.

2. When someone takes a bite out of something for the first time and proceeds to rant about how disgusting it is then tells you to try it...ie...."Ugh!!!! Eww! This is rancid! Here- try it!" Ummm....no.

3. When fast food chains put some really good shit on the menu for a "limited time." You fall in love with it, then is disappears into nothingness forever and ever.

4. White people that use urban vernacular seriously

5. 5 star dining. I don't want fois gras with butternut squash confit with truffle sauce. I want food that I can readily identify that costs 1/10 of the price.

Hatred that is to the point

1. Racism
2. People saying they hate kids
3. People who think they know everything
4. People talking about how busy they are
5. Blogs!

Perthian hate

Today's rant comes all the way from Perth, Australia.

1. When people with less ability, experience and intelligence than you succeed at a task you have not yet attempted because you've been too damn scared to try and now feel stupid because some moron has achieved success in that endeavour first.
2. Idiots who lack the ability to understand that speaking at 100 decibels or more into their ridiculous mobile phones in a public place is not going to get their point across any better, it's simply going to piss off those unfortunate people around them who have to listen to their drivel - hey losers, we don't know you and we certainly don't care or need to know about your pathetic life.
3. People that deem it unnecessary to demonstrate basic manners to their fellow human beings - newsflash to all you rude, insufferably inconsiderate and self-absorbed people: manners cost nothing and help us all get along much better, so do the world a favour and include simple words like 'thanks', 'please' and 'excuse me' in your obviously severely limited vocabulary, if that's not too much trouble.
4. Having to repeat basic instructions / advice / comments more than once as it is extremely irritating to have to repeat something to a person clearly not possessed of either the cognitive capability or attention span to get it the first fucking time.
5. This is the big one - people who cannot drive!!! I wish I had a dollar (or even 50 cents!) for each time I encountered either a scarily inept or dangerously oblivious driver on the road who either cut me off, randomly turned or changed lanes without signalling (just quietly, I'm not psychic and can't guess what you're going to do next - kindly help the rest of us out by using your fucking indicator) or decided it would be a fantastic idea to tailgate me in the hope that I'll break the speed limit to satisfy their urge to get to their destination half a minute faster. I would be one rich son of a gun if that were the case.

Some good hate right here

1. People that ask you a question just as you've taken a bite of something and then make some stupid pseudo-amusing remark like 'any day now, haw haw!' as you're struggling to finish chewing so you can respond. This is basic etiquette, you dickwads. Etiquette for dummies. You wait for someone to finish chewing for an answer; what the fuck else are they supposed to do?

2. North Americans that raise their voice at the end of every sentence so it sounds like a question and say things like 'oh my God, that's so funny' in a monotone voice and don't laugh, despite the fact that they've just claimed that something is 'so funny'.

3. Long hair when it's not attached to a human head. I hate finding my own hair on my stuff, let alone yours. Plus it's a thousand times worse when it's wet and dark.

4. Strong wind that blows straight through the fabric of your clothes, throws shit in your eyes, messes up your hair, sends papers flying and makes it difficult to walk. This is the kind of weather that just makes me want to smack someone.

5. Unreasonably expensive public transport. Eleven pounds for a 90-minute bus journey? Are you fucking kidding me? If I'm taking public transport I want to feel like I'm ACTIVELY being thrifty. I want that fare to feel like pocket change.

Too lazy to come up with all 5 --- so we'll take 2 things!

1 – When you close the door to your office hoping to continue a project uninterrupted & people continue to knock & come in & bother you anyway

2 –When I am wearing a jacket or sweater inside & someone trying to be funny says “Are ya cold?”

F%*@#ing MORON, YES I’m F%*@#ing COLD! F%&#K

Ranting hatred

1. The Black And White Views on Religion and Science:
Its true that Religions are most of the time far out, and yes, its impossible to have a God of sorts create the world. So then why is it if you have a faith of any shape or form your retarded? People who believe that there is a sin for every little thing, yes thier the ones we should worry about. And lets not forget the converts! (Seriously, get a job, conversion is invasion!). But just because someone might believe in a god, doesn't necessarily mean they deny science. I goto a Catholic school (Yup, the C word!), and were still taught science and all the other things. And you dont have to be catholic to go there, nor do they convert you in the religion class (Although it is a cumpolsory subject, but if you dont want to learn that, why are you there?) Its like people's taste in music. You either like it or dont, its that simple.

2. Hypocrisy of Scene Kids (This is in general, if your a scene kid and your not like this please don't take offense)
Scene kids claim they are the nicest little clique out there...bullshit. To be one of these foul little monkeys you must be attractive and you must have friends who are also Scene kids. Why you would dwell on Myspace, facebook, etc Im not sure, but what kind of a life is that? Your so ashamed of that big poofy hair that you can't socialise without a screen? And why do you only listen to metal just because its cool? I myself don't like Metal and choose my own music. And also, why do you have an obsession of taking photos everywhere?! Get out of the way,I want to have a look at the horror book section! But no, I'll just let you all sit there in your nice little circle obscuring the path.

3. The "Heroes" to Foreign Children
Why is it when devastating occurences like Haiti and that, we suddenly get a rush of white people wanting to adopt those kids? Is it part of your charity? Are they a trophy? Do you even care that these kids parents might still be alive, missing a leg maybe and just hope thier kids made it out alive? And what if thier a Christian community trying to take these kids out of thier countries? Great, make all the other Christians look bad! Look, if you want to adopt them, fine but remember, thier not a pet thier a human bieng!

4. "You Should Be Killed"
Little fucking kids on youtube saying we should do the world a favour and commit suicide, were disgusting or that all by saying one little thing. For all they know, we could be a doctor that saves lives, a musician helping to raise money for cancer, or a mother of 3 children. And what of they? They probably don't have anything going for thier lives, but if they tell us to go kill ourselves, they musn't be doing much, do they? And why bother replying to them? They get locked in this mindset that "Oh you just got PWNED". Childish behaviour gets you nothing & nowhere.

5. Baby Names
Apple. It all started with Apple. Now we have parents naming thier kids some of the most ridiculous names. Some are even references to movies (kids have been called Luke and Anakin, trust me.) Are you kidding? Whats thier justification? "Oh, I just want to make sure s/he isn't grouped in with everyone else" If you want to do that, why not give them a name from 1890's or something? Oh no, you want to call them "BIFFle" or "Ducky". Baby names, man...>_>

Ranting hatred

1) Anyone who is using this Joe Stack crap to support either
right-wing batshittery or left-wing statements against the right is a
fucking moron. I'm a liberal and I think conservatives are nutbags.
At the same time, I think this is largely a case of a dude who had
legitimate complaints against the government (but who apparently
doesn't understand tax law) going completely batshit. Psychological
pressure can break a person. Is it just me, or is the average
emotional age of America approximately 2? I don't condone what the
dude did, but I feel some measure of sorrow for him, for the people he
killed, and for everyone else affected by this. Grow up, America.

2) I cannot stand people who can't make or appreciate a nuanced
fucking argument. Reality is NEVER black and white. Life is NOT
sorted into small categories. If you cannot make an argument that
considers context and realizes that answers to certain issues will
always be different depending on a situation, you do not deserve to be
taken seriously. This is not moral relativism. This is about
acknowledging the fact that life is complex and that certain actions
will do different things in different situations. If you do not
comprehend this, you are a retard. (And before you bash me for using
the 'r-word', I will add that I do not, in fact, have any respect for
anyone with a sub-100 IQ, whether it is their fault or not. The
reason for this should be obvious - they are fucking dumb.)

3) I despise anyone who takes the Israel-Palestine conflict seriously.
It's a fucking turf war complicated by religion and by nebulous
cultural claims, which are just as absurd as the shit between Greece
and Macedonia about who can call themselves Macedonians, which is
really fucking dumb. Share, assholes; you learned this shit in
kindergarten. FUCKING SHARE HERITAGE AND LAND. IT'S NOT HARD. I am
perfectly happy to call Canadians Americans because they live on the
same fucking continent. Macedonians live in Macedonia. Call them
Macedonians. Let Palestinians have some land because they came from
there too. And fuck your stupid religious shit if you're religious,
it's all cultural faff anyway and you've never been able to produce
any actual evidence to support your bizarre claims about the universe.

4) I hate cultural and nationalistic shit, period. We're all the same
species. We all shit and eat and fuck. Sure, be nations, organize
into groups that have different ideas - it's a good thing, so people
can choose who they associate with. BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T USE
THAT AS A FUCKING EXCUSE TO KILL PEOPLE.

5) I hate business people. They do dumb and unethical shit just to
make more money. This has been borne out by all of history.

I see stupid people

1. People in the office who play political games for their own personal gain because they are too stupid and/or too lazy to do any actual work.

2. People in the office who blatantly play favorites to suck-asses who suck ass just to get said people to do their fucking jobs. Fuck them.

3. Incompetence, at the least the kind that is not acknowledged. Fucking step out of the way and make room for someone else if you can't crack it, shithead.

4. Not having a satisfying career.

5. Shannon. At least right now.

Five Things I Hate - Times Four!

This wonderful reader is gracing us with twenty things she hates. Just as well, since I ignore this blog so vehemently. Don't mean to. Enjoy.

I have a nice long list of things/people I hate. It's ranting time.

1) Religion. Since when do people venerate 3000-year-old executionmethods and think their imaginary friend is actually three people orthink the earth is 6000 years old or cannibalize their imaginaryfriend? Or since when do people walk several times about giant blackrocks in the middle of a stadium or think it is somehow okay andnecessary to whack off foreskins? Or since when do people think it isokay to waste food on libations to their imaginary friend or thinktheir imaginary friend is a blue-skinned many-armed weirdo or a dudewith an elephant head?At least the Pastafarians are funny.

2) Creationists. I'm not sure how mentally undeveloped these freaksare that they'll ignore all scientific evidence and instead tout theirfavorite book, authored 2000 years ago by some cretinous bunch ofpeasants, as some sort of proof.

3) Republicans. Giving more to the rich does not give to the poor,cutting taxes does not mean society gets more, women are notsecond-class citizens, the government does not own women's uteri, andtheocracy is a shitty form of government.

4) Postmodernists. If you mention deconstruction or Foucault one moretime, I am going to beat you over the head with both a copy of Strunkand White and stacks of scientific articles and literature that provethat you dudes are not only full of shit in calling others whodisagree with you sexist or racist, but also that you are moronicfuckbags who don't understand the wording of half the words you say.Sokal would be proud of me when I beat you into a pulp.

5) Anti-vaxxers. See #2, except instead of the buy-bull, they listento snake-oil peddlers.

6) The uneducated. I do not like idiots, and I especially hate theones without an education. College should be free so the people whocan't afford it but have the ability can get an education, and theones who don't have the ability should become corn fertilizer, becausein my opinion, if you aren't educated, you aren't worth the shit thatGeorge Bush expels on a daily basis. And I already hate anythingGeorge Bush produces.

7) Pregnant women. They give me the willies and their hormones make them nuts.

8) People who have more than 2 kids. You've already replacedyourself, morons. Get a fucking tubal or a vasectomy.

9) Children. Most of them are too fucking whiny and they're a sap ontheir parents' time and money. I'm not having any.

10) Histrionic people. Too much emotion makes for unstable assholes.Also, they're usually irrational. I don't like the excessivelyirrational. Can we give these people a permanent Valium drip?

11) Frat boys and sorority girls. This is self-explanatory.

12) Fundies. See #2 and #3.

13) Fred Phelps, because he deserves his own little category of hatefor being a frothing-at-the-mouth fuckbag (he hates gay people so muchI suspect he's so far in the closet that he's banging on the backwall) who even his own fellow boils-on-the-ass-of-humanity, thefundies, despise from the bottom of their putrid black pus-riddenpericardia (they have no hearts).

14) Those fucking little alarm clocks that go WAAAAAK WAAAAK WAAAAAKWAAAK WAAAK WAAAK.

15) Most fellow Americans. I don't think I have to explain this one.

16) Anyone who talks like this on the internet: "ASL OMG U R SO DUMCAN I HAVE PIC BRB WANT TO CYBER".

17) Reality TV.

18) Businessmen, journalists, and advertisers.

19) Politicians, who are really largely only in it for the paychecks.

20) Insecure people who, as a result, are hostile ignorant dickwads.

We don't mind the ranting!

1. Waiting at the doctors office. Who do these doctors think they are? I set up an appointment a month in advance, I show up 5 minutes before the confirmed appointment time, yet I still have to sit and wait for 45 minutes in your lousy waiting room while music with a monotony similar to an overcast day slowly kills the right side of my brain? Completely unreasonable. It's condescending and rude, almost as if the doctor is trying to say "I know we had an appointment, but I am SO MUCH MORE important than you that you'll just have to wait anyway. You know what asshole? Next time I think I'll just diagnose myself.

2. Worthless things you have to learn in school. There's a place for everything you have to learn in school, all knowledge has its place. Why though should we have to learn absurd dribble that has absolutely zero relevance to my chosen career? If my goal is to become a commercial pilot, there is no fathomable reason for me to have to learn advanced calculus *PERIOD*. I know what being a pilot entail, and it sure as hell doesn't involve Leibniz notation. So you want to be a mathematician? Physicist? Good for you! Leave me the hell out of it. Don't get me wrong, having a sound knowledge of mathematics, the sciences, and history is essential, but you can only take it so far. While my English professor is preaching the underlying mechanics of grammar construction I should be learning basic avionics and FAA regulations.

3. People who vote on things without any real knowledge of what they're voting for (and don't pay any attention to the actions of whoever they voted for once they've won). Every now and then, you inevitably end up talking with your coworker about politics. Now I don't know about you, but I could honestly care less who they are voting for. At the very least, however, they should know something about all the choices, especially the one they are supporting. "I'm voting for candidate X!" "Well, can you explain why he gets your vote? What makes him the better choice?" "Uh, he's pretty cool! His age! I don't really have any goddamn idea! It seems like the popular choice!". Brilliant job taking advantage of the democratic system. Oh wait, you're actually just supporting a moronocracy. Three, four, five months later politics comes up again. Inevitably the politician has done something godawful by this time, so you ask "So, is the person you voted in everything you thought they would be?" in a sarcastic tone hoping to provoke some poorly thought out defense. No, sorry, you won't even get that. Instead you're greeted with a mind shatteringly stupid "Why? What has he done? Ohh... Is it bad?". Speechless.

4. Restaurants serving cuisine that goes completely against the rest of the menu. It's 2:30, and you haven't eaten lunch, know what that means? It means you're hungry. And today, you feel like you want some Chinese food. That's right, General Tsao take me away to spicy chicken paradise. So you head to the closest Chinese restaurant, what do you know, it's an all you can eat Chinese buffet. All you can eat? Perfect, you're ready to power down some serious rice. You hastily park your car not quite parallel with the lines, rush inside, grab a table for one, and before you've even finished ordering your drink you're walking among isles of delicious Chinese dishes ready for the taking. Orange chicken, Hong Kong chicken, maybe you're feeling adventurous and something you don't recognize finds its way to your plate. Then you see it, glaring at you like a huge mole on the otherwise perfect skin of an attractive woman. Fucking pizza. Not just pizza, but pizza that looks like it was REJECTED from the high school cafeteria. Your appetite is injured, horribly injured. As you make your way back to your table you start to wonder, why is there pizza at a Chinese buffet? Your question is promptly answered by a gluttonous squeal from the booth behind you. Children. Parents who bring their whiny children to a Chinese buffet when they know damn well they're kids don't want anything outside the average bland American dish. Because of this, poor Ming in the kitchen has had to try to cobble together a pizza to please the obnoxious soccer moms who complain that there was nothing for their children to eat, which leaves less love for the egg drop soup. *rage*At this point I'm noticing the increasing length of these entries, an obvious sign of my descent into incoherent ranting. I'll do my best to wrap this up without ruining my keyboard by uncontrollably frothing at the mouth. No promises. If I don't make it, expect a future follow-up

5. Oh you've got to be kidding me. The ass behind be just spilled his syrupy fucking drink all over the floor, and it has run beneath my desk, coating the soles of my shoes. Now I'll have to walk around the rest of the day with that annoying stickyness and sickening sound thnkas to his iind;.dalmkm./........................................



EDITOR'S NOTE: I will have to differ with you on the Chinese buffets. Those places are cheap (both in cost and in substance) and I am actually delighted by their take on Western foods. There is one I go to with my sister in Springfield Illinois and it is just hilarious some of the things they come up with. E.g. baked mussels covered in cheese and breadcrumbs. Annoying as it may be, if you want good Chinese food without a bunch of that other crap thrown in, you have to go to a Chinatown restaurant. (I don't know where you live, but if you're in a major city most of them do have a Chinatown district.)